Pets and Favorites
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: In which Laxus tackles two topics all parents hate in one night. And for the record, he's the realest slayer out there. - One-shot.


Pets and Favorites

"Laxus?"

Grunt.

"How come you don't have a kitty? Like Happy or Lily? Or Carla?"

Blinking, the man glanced down at his blonde haired daughter before grunting again.

"'cause I really like kitties," the little girl told her father, sitting up real tall next to him. They were seated out on the front porch, waiting for Mommy to come back with her little sister. "But Navi said that her daddy said that you don't got one because you're not a real slayer."

More blinking. Then he sneered, "Natsu said that I'm not a real slayer, huh?"

"Mmmhmm. That they all got 'em when-"

"I'm the realest slayer around, Haven," he told his daughter, flexing slightly. "You ever seen me fight, kid? I'd kill anyone that steps near me. You know that."

"That's just means you're strong, Laxus," she giggled, leaning up against him. She was getting bored of waiting on Mirajane to come back. She'd taken her younger sister Marin to a doctor visit and had been gone _forever_. Marin always got to go to the doctor. It was almost like she was sick more than she was well. "That don't mean-"

"I'm a real Dragon Slayer, kid, alright? And if I ever hear you say that I'm not again-"

"Well, you're not."

"Haven-"

"You're not. Natsu says-"

"Who's Master, kid? And who's your father? That's right. Me. So stop arguing with me. I'm a real Dragon Slayer and that's the end of the story. Got it?"

"Mmmm…nope. You're not."

"Haven-"

"Then can we get a kitty? If you're a real slayer?"

"No."

"Laxus-"

"No."

"You're no fun," Haven complained.

"You keep arguing with me, kid, and I'm going to make you train some more."

"I don't like training." Since her father had begun teaching her lightning magic, she'd learned that she rather didn't like the man. Not as a teacher, at least. "It's boring."

"That's because you think, Haven, that I'm always going to be here for you. To take care of you. Well, I'm not. You're going to have to learn to be tough, kid. Learn to look out for you and your sister. You have my blood coursing through your veins and yet you act like-"

"You sure talk enough." She moved to hunch forwards then, resting her elbowed against her knees, head in her hands. "Laxus."

He narrowed his eyes at her before saying, "It's not all fun and games is my point. It's a lot of hard, tedious work. You think I got this strong from doing nothing all day? Huh?"

"No," she said, glancing at him. "You got that strong 'cause your daddy put a lacrima in you."

For a moment, the two of them just stared at one another. Then he gave her a cold stare.

"Where did you hear that?"

"I dunno."

"Haven-"

"It's true, huh? That's how come you're not a real slayer?"

"I am a real slayer."

"Then how come you don't have a-"

"Why the hell would I want a damn cat? Huh?"

"Well, I don't know." She went back to watching the road. "But-"

"Yeah, Ivan put a lacrima in me. And yeah, it made me stronger," he grumbled. "But it isn't even worth half the strength I have now. I work my ass off for this power, Haven. I-"

"You cursed."

"And you're being a little brat. We're even."

Neither was too happy with the other any longer, leaving them to only glare out at the street once more. The only one that could quell a fight between the two was Mirajane, but, from the looks of it, she was just never coming home.

At least that was the decision that Haven had come to.

"I'm just sayin'," Have tried again after a few moments, "that I really like kitties."

"Those damn cats," Laxus grumbled. "They ain't worth nothin'. The only one that might be good for somethin' is Gajeel's and that damn thing's afraid of thunder!"

Haven shot her father a look. "Sure he's just not afraid of you?"

That made him sneer at her. "Why, kid, would anyone ever be afraid of me?"

"Because you yell, scream, hit, making thunderstorms-"

"Hey." He wasn't playing anymore as he stared down at her. "Who do I hit? Or scream at? I-"

"Me."

"I do not."

"Do too."

"Name one time-"

"There's a bunch!"

Sighing, he said, "Haven, you're a real brat sometimes. So yeah, you might get a smack to the back of the head. It's good for you."

"Sure don't feel good."

"And I yell because you're bad. If you stopped being bad, I wouldn't have to yell."

"Maybe if you didn't yell-"

"That would mean, brat, that I yelled before you misbehaved. Which I don't. I-"

"Stop calling me a brat!"

"Then stop acting like one!"

Once more, they both got quiet. Haven was pouting too. He could tell. Ugh. When would Mira just show up?

It took another twenty minutes and another three mini-fights before that happened, the woman walking with one hand in her youngest daughter's as she approached the house.

"Hi, Laxus," she giggled as Marin only waved at him. Haven jumped up, but he only stayed seated on the porch until, finally, Marin broke away from her mother to go hug her father. He stood then, easily lifting her into the air with him.

"Daddy," the five year old giggle. "Stop."

He pressed a kiss to her head before dropping her gently back on the ground. Haven was already explaining to Mira all the transgressions of her father while the woman was gone, Mirajane leading the child into the house as they spoke.

"How was the doctor, huh?" Laxus patted Marin gently on the head, unconcerned with the other two at that moment.

"Good."

"That's good."

She nodded. "Said I got taller!"

"Really?" He seemed skeptical. "You? Taller?"

"Daddy."

"Well, maybe a little." He patted her on the top of the head. "Come on. I was waiting for you."

"Me?'

"You," he repeated as she only reached up to grasp on of his hands, letting him lead her into the house. "I wanted you to help me make dinner. Can you do that?"

"Okay," she giggled. "Can we have…cookies?"

"For dinner? Mar, you're just being silly." Still, he said, "Maybe we can ask Mira to make us some for dessert or whatever, huh? Only if you're good."

When they got into the kitchen though, Laxus found that Haven was being anything but.

As far as he was concerned at least.

"-mean to me, just 'cause I said that he wasn't a real slayer."

"Laxus," Mira sighed as he joined them in the kitchen. "Were you being mean?"

"Is this an honest question here or-"

"And he got mad when I said that he couldn't be one," Haven went on, not picking up on her mother's sarcasm, instead thinking that the woman was truly on her side. Ha ha. "Since he didn't have a kitty. Like Happy or Lily."

He growled then. "I told you that I wouldn't want one of those anyhow! That-"

"A kitty," Marin whispered, letting go of his hand as she thought about it. Then, tilting her head up to stare at her father, she asked, "Daddy-"

"No."

"You're no fun, Laxus," Haven said, sticking her tongue out at him.

"I dunno, Lax," Mira sighed as she went over to the fridge to find what was in there for dinner. "The girls are getting older. And a pet-"

"No way. Na-ah."

"Laxus, you're not being fair," Haven said, crossing her arms as Marin, knowing when a fight was brewing, went to go stand with her mother. There was no kitty worth getting between her father and sister over.

"I'm not being fair?" He scoffed. "You don't even know what fair is, Haven."

"You're not making no sense!"

"I don't have to," he told her, being just as loud, just as quickly. Mira only rolled her eyes, pressing a hand to her head.

"Tone it down, guys," she said. "I-"

"You two don't even know how to care for yourselves," Laxus said, gesturing at his two daughters. "How would you ever take care of a pet? Huh? Huh? You wouldn't. And neither would the demon."

"I don't do poop," she assured them. "I hardly got through you guys' diaper phases."

"So I would have to care for it," he finished. "Else I'd be the bad guy."

"You're kinda the bad guy right now," Haven grumbled.

"What did you just-"

"We take care of Mommy dog," Marin whispered. Her father glanced over.

"You what?"

That made Mirajane giggle as Haven only rolled her eyes.

"Sometimes, Lax," Mira said with a snicker, "I transform into a dog for them. When you're not home."

"You what?"

"It's just something to do," she said with a shrug. "I also transform into cats and birds and-"

"What the hell goes on in this place when I'm out?"

"Watch your mouth," his wife said simply as Marin, sensing the tension easing, when to go stand with her father again, easily slipping her hand right back in his. "And I just make things fun. Something you neglect to do on a regular basis."

"I- Marin," he growled, squeezing her hand a tad too tightly. Perhaps she'd read the room wrong. "Do I make things fun or what?"

"Um-"

"Marin-"

"Yes!" She wiggled free and, that time, when she ran to her mother, took to hugging her as well.

Mira shot him a look. "Nice."

"Marin, I wasn't yelling at you," he sighed. "I was-"

"Screaming. Just like I said you do."

"Haven," he growled. "I do not scream at Marin. You know why?"

"Because you pick favorites?" she accused.

"Oh, whatever, brat."

"See?" Haven was back to her main point which, though it might have seemed was like getting a cat, was actually proving that Laxus was a horrible monster. "You treat me bad. Everyone does. 'cause everyone likes Marin better."

"That is not true," Mira told her as she stroked her other daughter's white locks soothingly. Marin had never rightly adjusted to the bickering that went on daily in that house. "And you know it."

"It is too! You like her better too. You always have."

"I do not." Glancing down at Marin, she said, "I love you both equally."

Marin just kept staring at her older sister though. The downside to teaching her magic had been that Haven had a tendency to try and use it against them when she was angry. And though the argument had started more or less as a joke, those rarely lasted in their household.

"And Aunt Lissy and Bickslow and Elf and Aunt Ever all love her more."

"Okay, so I'm not going to say much," Laxus said slowly, "about the first three, but it's not like Ever's ever really hidden this from anyone."

"Laxus," Mira complained.

"Well. We have to like her and her fits," he said. "'cause she's ours. The others are allowed to choose favorites."

Haven kept glaring at her dad. "See? Locke don't gotta brother or sister, so his mother and father like him the best."

"Like anyone would have wanted Gajeel and Levy having more spawns anyhow," Laxus grumbled.

"And Navi's parents loves her a bunch more than you do me or Marin!"

"Again with the spawn thing."

"Laxus." Mira was honestly done with all of them then. "Stop it. We do not have favorites and that is the only thing that matters."

"Yeah, but if you hadn't had Marin, that would mean that you would have more time to love me." Haven wasn't giving up that day. Man, if Laxus knew it was going to turn into a whole ordeal, he'd have at least had a beer first. In fact…

"Watch out, kid, demon." He gently pushed Marin and Mira out of the way so he could get over to the fridge. "I'm thirsty."

Marin sniffled. "Do you really like me more, Daddy?"

That was a rather loaded question. Maybe it was a good thing he hadn't had a beer or two first.

"Well," he said slowly as he pulled one out of the fridge. "I like you both better for different things."

"Laxus," Mira warned, but he only waved her off. He knew what he was doing.

Sort of.

"I like you, Haven, better for when we're practicing magic or I wanna have an argument, yeah?"

She frowned. "I don't argue."

"You do too. All the time."

"Na-ah."

"Kid, you're arguing over whether or not you argue. I think-"

"What do you like me better for?" Marin asked, letting go of her mother as she stared at him. He only patted her on the head before he popped the tab on his beer. "Daddy?"

"I like to snuggle and kiss on you," he said. "And I like when you read to me or help me clean up. When I want someone to remind me how great I am and Freed ain't around-"

"These sure are some hollow reasons here," Mira sighed.

"Yeah, well, I'm a simple guy, alright?" After a sip of beer, he found he had some more reasons. "I like you, Haven, for when I wanna remember how it was before, yeah?"

"Before what?" She still wasn't satisfied, but then again, she rarely was. With anything. Like he'd said, she was quite the brat.

"Before I was guild master," he said simply as he went to take a seat at the table. Maybe all those thoughts of making dinner were just that; thoughts. 'cause in that moment, nothing sounded better than just letting Mirajane do the cooking. "And when I feel like remembering other things, Marin, you come in handy, yeah?"

"Like what?"

"Mmmm." He had to think. "You make me think of all the silly things that we do. Like when we have to go buy Mira a present or bake a cake or-"

"You mean the thoughtful things that you do far too rarely?"

"Hey, demon, pipe down, yeah? I'm having a moment here with my girls."

"Oh, whatever."

"I mean, girls," he said, feeling like he was finally in the groove of things. "You like me and Mirajane for different things, right?"

"No," Marin said truthfully. She'd yet to learn the soft letdown. "I like Mommy the most."

Haven started snickering, though she wasn't sure what was better; the fact her sister had just said that or the look on Laxus' face in response. Mirajane only widened her eyes.

"Marin," she told her softly. "You don't say things like that."

"How come?" She went to go follow her father over to the table. "I like you too, Daddy. But Mommy's my favorite. And Elf's my favorite uncle. And I like Navi more than Locke or Haven. And Ever's my favorite-"

"Okay, okay, Marin," Mira told her. "Be quiet now."

"But why?"

"Because, sweetheart," she sighed as she glanced at her husband. "You hurt people's feelings when you rank them."

"Na-ah." Marin shook her head. "You rank people."

"I do not."

"Yes." If Haven was insistent when she was being bad, when Marin decided she was right about something, she'd never give in. "Like how Locke is Haven's best friend. That's-"

"He is not! And don't say that again! I hate him and Navi. And you, brat."

"Don't call your sister a brat," Mira sighed. "And don't say that you hate-"

"How could you like Mira more than me?" Laxus' shock had finally died down and he was coming back to earth. "I mean, seriously, Marin?'

"Laxus," Mira scolded. "She's just a child. She doesn't-"

"Mommy makes me cookies and rubs my tummy and turns into a doggy-"

'That's not fair! I could do all of those. Other than the dog thing," he said as Marin giggled. "This isn't funny, Marin."

That time, Haven knew exactly why she was snickering.

"Aw, Laxus," she giggled as she skipped out of the room. "You're cryin'."

"I am not!"

"Did you get your feelings hurt?"

"No! I-"

"Daddy." Marin patted him on the arm. "I love you. Just not as much as Mommy."

"But-"

"I love you more than Haven though."

That was no consolation. Haven was a horrible big sister in most every way.

"Hey!" The blonde was almost out of the kitchen, but turned around at that, just to glare at her little sister. "How could you like him more than me?"

"Because he's Daddy," Marin said simply, staring up at his crestfallen face. "Don't be sad, Daddy."

"I'm tryin' hard not to be, kid, but you kinda just killed me here."

"Mmmm…I like you more than broccoli," she said.

"That-"

"Even with cheese?" Haven was skeptical.

"Hey-"

"No." Marin shook her head. "Never mind."

"You guys are brats." Laxus pushed away from the table then.

"Oh, Laxus, they're kidding." Mirajane, who'd moved on to starting dinner, gave both her daughters a warning glance then. "You go tell your daddy sorry. Now."

"Ew, gross." Haven made a face at the suggestion. "No way."

"I'm sorry." Marin was quick to follow her father as he headed out of the house, going through the backdoor. "Daddy!"

"No. Leave me alone."

She clung to his hand, being dragged right along. "I love you!"

"I know, kid. Just-"

Then the tears started, once they made it out to the back porch. "I'm sorry!"

"Marin, it is not that big of- No. No crying. Stop it."

She couldn't help it. She didn't think that Laxus would be mad that she liked Mirajane more. She thought that they were all just telling the truth.

"Daddy!"

With a sigh, he had to turn and get down on his knees there on the porch, setting his beer on the ground while he was at it. Then he reached out to grab her face in his hands.

"I know that you like Mirajane better," he told her as she only nuzzled against one of his hands. "I've always known. You two are… When you were a baby, I still went out on jobs. And I was gone a lot. A whole lot. I had you two and your mother to take care of, huh? So I didn't really get a lot of time to spend when you. And when I was home, I spent most of my time with Haven. That was my fault. And when you got older, you just got so much more…docile than her. So of course you're going to like Mirajane. She's the kinder one out of me and her.

"But that don't mean that I don't think you love me. I know you do, kid. Just like I love you. Because you're my baby. And even if I don't spend that much time with you, or even if it's not me that you come to first when you have a problem, that's okay. I don't gotta be your favorite. I mean, it hurts a little, hearing you say it, yeah, but-"

"Do you like Haven better?" she asked with a sniffle.

"Of course not." Did he? Pressing a kiss to her head, he said, "It's just like I said. I love you both. I just like you for different things."

"Mmmm…I like to play with Mommy," she said after a moment. "But I like to snuggle with you best."

"That's good." He patted her on the head then before getting back to his feet. Picking up his beer can while he was at it, he said, "Now go in there and tell the demon to make those cookies too, huh? If she has time."

Marin just stared up at him for a second, giggling. "So we can't have a kitty?"

"I think," he said slowly as he went to take a seat once more, though that time it was on the back porch steps, "that right now you better make due with monster dog."

"Mommy dog," Marin giggled.

"Same thing as far as I'm concerned."

After she disappeared, Laxus got a few good minutes out there alone, watching the sunset as he contemplated his duties the next morning at the guildhall. Eventually however, he was joined once more by Haven, who, without a word, came to sit besides him. Once again, they were waiting for Mira and Marin, only that time, it was for dinner.

"Hey, Laxus?"

He was ready too. For all of her reasons that she would be great at owning a dog. Or about how stupid Marin was. Or how girly he was for being upset by the other child. Something.

Instead, when he glanced down at her, she didn't look mischievous. Or angry. Not even happy. Just blank. Void.

Maybe she was mirroring him?

"I don't like Mommy better than you."

It was so perfect too, the way she said it. He felt himself grin.

"Yeah, kid," he laughed, glancing back at the skyline. "I know. I-"

"I hate you both equally. For not giving me a cat. It's not fair! Navi and Locke both have their kitties and-"

"Don't," he told the seven year old with a gruff voice and a gentle shove to the shoulder, "ruin this. Please."

For a second, he thought she would. He knew all of her comebacks from how gross he was to how much she disliked him. Then, after the passing of another second, she took to just leaning up against his arms, watching the sunset as well.

If they were anyone else, maybe he'd have had a heart to heart with her like he had Marin. Or he'd just tell her he loved her and she'd return the sentiment. Something. Instead, giving it a minute, he eventually elbowed her gently before finishing his beer and getting to his feet.

"Come on," he said as he crushed the can before setting it up on the railing to take in later. Haven only sat there though, staring up at him. "Let's train a little before dinner, huh?"

"Laxus," she whined. "I-"

"Do you or do you not wanna be better than Locke and Navi?"

Tilting her head up high, she said, "I already am."

"Yeah, well, how long will you be if you don't ever train?"

It was with a growl that he could be proud of that she jumped him, readily raising her fist to come punch him in the stomach.

"Hey, brat." He easily shoved her back. "Don't make me pummel you, huh?"

It probably wasn't until he went to bed that night, much later than the girls, to find the demon still up reading, that he even thought about the favorite thing again.

Mainly because she brought it up.

"Well," she said slowly. "Who would have ever thought it? Little ol' me, beating out Laxus Dreyar for-"

"Save it, demon," he grumbled as he crawled into bed with her. "Seriously."

She only giggled, setting the book that she'd been reading onto her bedside table before turning off the lamp. Then, once they were in the cover of darkness, she rolled over to face him.

"I think we handled the whole thing okay."

"Okay? Just okay?"

"Just okay," she said. "And I told Marin not to go around tell people their ranking in her life anymore. I think seeing you get so upset drove that home for her."

"I was not upset."

"Laxus."

"Well."

"Well."

He only huffed, rolling onto his side to stare at her as well. "I guess, thinking about it now, we're not too good at it, are we?"

"At what?"

"Hiding who our favorites are."

She stared at him for a moment before saying slowly. "Well, I know who yours is."

"And I know who yours is."

"Bet you don't."

"Bet I do."

"…It really isn't that hard, is it?"

"But as long as they don't know," he decided as he moved to lay on his back once more, "and there's always one of us for each of them, they should be fine."

"Mmmm. But what if we go for broke and add another one that we both actually love equally?"

He tried to picture it, Marin and Haven both blending into one child.

"Nah. Wouldn't work."

"We could try."

"What is with you and tryin' to get a third baby out of me?" he grunted. "I mean, weren't you the one talking earlier about how you hate diapers?"

"Well, if it was a boy, I was thinking that your male pride would take over and you'd do all those."

"Why the hell would I want a boy?" he complained. "Tryin' to take over and shit. No way. I got exactly what I wanted out of it each time. A girl for you and one for me. Perfect. Shop closed."

"I'll wiggle one out of you eventually," she threatened as she cuddled up to his chest. "Dragon."

"Mommy dog."

"Shuddup. 'fore I trick you into a third one."

"Mmmm." He kissed her head. "I think you're just as content as I am. You just don't wanna admit it."

Sighing softly, Mirajane said, "You know, you're probably my favorite boyfriend ever."

"Yeah, you're mine t- Probably?"

"Well."

"Mirajane-"

"There's things I like you better for and things I-"

"I'll kill you."

"Try me, dragon."

"Never, demon." With one last kiss to her head, he shut his eyes. "Never."

* * *

**Another half finished one-shot out of the way. I was stuck on the next chapter for Last Month and remembered this, so I figured I'd go back and finish it. Would take place somewhere between Magic and Festivals and Lost and Found. Not that it really matters. Maybe an update to Last Month today and then the final chapter of Wedding Wars tomorrow or the day after. Hopefully. We'll see. **


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